Where the Lists Overlap

How can a person live in a house filled with people and still feel lonely?

 

How on earth can one person take care of everything in one household? By "everything," I am referring to the cooking, the cleaning (which is endless), schooling, disciplining, organizing, bill paying, laundry, carpooling and normal up keep of the running of a household.

 

There are days when the tasks ahead of me are so completely overwhelming that I can barely breathe.

 

I love my family, don't get me wrong. They are all uniquely given to me by the Father above and I want to care for them and love them as best as I possibly can. However, in doing that, I have to accept all the "everything" else that goes along with loving and caring for them the best that I can. The responsibility of it all weighs on me so heavily and there are days that it is all I can do to not get in the car and drive to.....I have no idea where, but somewhere.

 

Right now, as I type, I have what feels like a million things that I should be doing instead of putting thoughts on this screen! There is laundry to be flipped over and folded, socks, shoes, legos and toys all over this house that need picked up, dusting in the den (since I can write my name on the shelf now)  and let's not mention that the vacuum broke over the weekend and the carpets are in desperate need of vacuuming. See, I told you, a million things on my mind. And I'm supposed to remember where one specific piece of mail went to over a week ago?? How on earth? Someone told me "To write is therapy", so I'm trying. I'm not sure it amounts to anything, but if at the end of the day, this journaling helps my attitude, then I suppose it will be worth the 30mins I've allotted for this.

 

You've got it- 30mins and no more! I don't care terribly about the grammar or punctuation rules either, so if you are reading and you want to pick this apart- be my guest. I'm not really going to care, because worrying about the grammar would just be one more thing on the dumb should-do list.

 

That dumb list! I wish I could just burn it or pretend it doesn't exist, but I can't. Maybe that's why I feel so lonely, because no one else seems to live worried about the tasks for this family, just me. Everyone else seems to have their own list and the two lists often times don't overlap enough...that must be where the lonely comes from.

Thankful November Day 8

Day #8

I am thankful for my crockpot.

Seriously, it single handedly makes my life so much easier. I was able to make a ton of applesauce over the last week and that handy thing did all the work while I kept up with my laundry and schooling responsibilities. I love how I can fix a meal, then forget about it and go on with all the many other things that I need to do. The applesauce I made was so easy that I feel bad for not doing it before now. My kids love applesauce and I haven't been buying any just because it's expensive and they can just eat an apple. My kids are thrilled that I know how to make applesauce and they have been eating a ton of it! I went today to buy some canning jars so we can put some away for future use. I went to bed with a certain satisfaction the other night knowing that I had found a way to give my children something they love and rarely get. My boys rounded the stairs yesterday and said, "Oh my gosh, Mom. It smells heavenly in here!" I loved it. I hope I am creating warm, happy memories for them. It will make it all worth while that I stood, peeled and cored about 80 apples. (I really dislike applesauce, so it was truly a labor of love.)

Thankful November Day 7

Day #7

I am thankful for the seven beautiful children that lay their heads down under our roof every night.

When I was a young girl, I used to tell my mother that I wanted nine kids, yes that said NINE. I never imagined that I would actually get close to that number, but here I am at 39 years old and I have seven. I loved the day that I put all nine of us on the back windows of our 15 passenger van, plus I added the dog and two cats- just for the shock value of seeing the windows full. These children are my biggest blessing of all and while there are some days that I wonder what on earth were we thinking, there are more days that I feel so honored that the Lord trusted me enough to give them all to me to; to be their mother.

Thankful November

Day #6

I am thankful for the right to vote.

 

I do not take this lightly. Men died for me to have this freedom today and many women fought to give me this right, as a woman, to voice my opinion as well.

 

I have no idea what this day will hold. I have no idea who will win this election today. There has been some discussion that some may be very upset on both sides if their candidate does not win. I wish that we were a peaceable people. I wish that we could let our fellow brothers have their opinion and we could still love each other anyway. That's how I operate anyway. I may not agree with your way of thinking, but you are just as entitled to your opinion as I am. I say vote your own conscience and respect your fellow brothers ability to do so as well.

 

Now, I'll get off that soap box...alteast for a little while.

Thankful November

You know, I just wanted to make it known that I am picking my "thankfuls" according to what happens in my day. In other words, I have an entire month and there is so much to be thankful for that I am not worrying about where people are on the "list." Now that we've clarified that...

 

Day #5

 

I am thankful for Police Officers.

 

I am a daughter of retired police officer, so I naturally have a certain love for them. Last night, I was able to think about the harms they put their lives in to serve and protect our communities. They serve and protect everyday, even when they are not on duty. They are called to be peacemakers in the midst of our troubled land. They are everyday heroes in my book.

 

And I'd like to point out that they don't eat at doughnut places all the time....I saw 6 of them at a Chickfila last week!!!

Thankful November

Day 4

I am thankful for the freedom to worship.

 

Anyone that knows me knows that I love to sing. I love music and all kinds of different music. I like Christian music the most, because it keeps my thought-life clean, but I am fond of older jazz, country, classical and pop music as well. I really have this uncanny ability to be able to enjoy almost anything. I think I can do that because I know where music originated- with God. He puts songs and melodies in the hearts of men.

 

I like old hymns of the church and I like the contemporary music on the radio now. A friend of mine says the contemporary songs sound like love songs and he just can't get in to them. Well, I have no trouble getting in to them and we often have friendly debates about how many hymns etc were in a given church service.

 

I wouldn't be able to express my gratitude in public if it were not for the freedom that we have in this country to do so. I do not take for granted the many lives that died trying to get to this country, all for this one freedom or those that have died to keep that freedom.

 

I raise my hands in worship because I can't keep my hands down. I raise my hands because there are brothers and sisters that cannot out of fear, so I will for them!

Thankful November

Day 3

I am thankful for the family of God that I am blessed to be a part of.

There isn't a day that goes by that I do not thank the Lord for the friends He has added to my life. The funniest friendships and long time friendships that have lasted years, all people that I would never had met if I had not joined the family of God. Even today, as we said good-bye to a wonderful man of God, I was moved to tears knowing that one day I will see Ed Ashworth again. He is with Jesus and I will be too one day. My tears were so mixed. I am so happy that Ed is not suffering anymore and I am thrilled that he is with Jesus now, but my heart hurts for his beautiful family that is missing him tons and tons.

I am thankful for my Sisters in Christ that hold me up in prayer, encourage me on a daily basis, and sometimes even say the tough things that I need to hear.

I am thankful for the many, many military friends that we have had the privilege to know and love. We've been through some rough times with these friends. We've tried to help in their time of deepest need. We've tried to be the hands and feet of Christ whenever we were called or asked to do so. I remember the 1st military family that David and I got close to- the Berkebile family. There were many nights that we spent at their apartment, just hanging (and eating of course). And then tragedy struck....I remember begging her to eat and praying that more tragedy wouldn't come. I remember all too well the day they told us they had to leave. I looked at David and said "I don't want to be friends with any more military people! They just move away!" I bet God had a full-bellied laugh, a real LOL moment when those words flowed out of my mouth! Even now, as I remember it, I chuckle. I chuckle because I did not hold to those words. I am so glad that I didn't too, because the military families that followed are among my closest and best of friends.

This family that I've been blessed to be a part of has so many aspects that enrich my life and I could not possibly even scratch the surface with all the things the people in this family have done to add to my life.