Recently Dh and I have been looking at starting chores around here. The kids are much faster at making messes than I am at cleaning them. I am finally come to the realization that I am not Superwoman and help is a good thing. Now, for most of you that know me, you understand how hard this is going to be for me! I am a perfectionist and have struggled letting my husband do anything around the house for fear that he wouldn't do it the way I do! I feel like I've slowly over come that fear, and at this point in our 13 yr marriage I'm just glad that he does anything at all! Hee-Hee Pot shot, I know. Sorry, babe. I digress...I've got to allow these kids to be responsible for cleaning a few things and not expect perfection.
I remember the first time I let Daughter #1 wash the dishes. She did an Ok job, but I felt it necessary to "fix" what I thought was wrong, in front of her. Boy, was that a mistake! A soft tongue goes a long way and gentle reminders on how to do things well are much better than taking it and doing it yourself. Out of my need to make things perfect, I unintentionally hurt her and damaged her self-esteem. It has taken me along time to get the soft tongue part down and I still have to work at that. Thank goodness that the Lord hasn't given up on me!
It seems that I am at another impasse and need to let more of my perfectionism go. I think I'm more prepared for this than I was for D#1 to wash the dishes. Dh and I are getting ready to start daily chores for everyone, even littlest. I am actually excited. I am not sure how that happened, but I think it's an extension of our homeschooling. I want my girls to grow up and know how to care for their own homes. I want my boys to go to college and be the ones to have clean dorm rooms! Imagine that!
The kids SEE me do all the cleaning, but learning HOW to clean for themselves is better. Somewhere I've heard that saying about catching a man a fish is great, but teaching him how to catch his own is better. I guess it's the same principle. Tomorrow, we are going to tackle bedrooms!
1 comment:
I have come to that same realization. It's hard to let go and let them do their job....especially when they don't quite do it the way we want.
One thing I've done for my kids (that has helped us all and has helped the boys take ownership) is this:
I have a printed list of chores in a table (chores down the left and days across the top) I then put the chore chart into a page protector. The boys put a check mark in the box of each completed chore with a dry erase marker. At the end of the week, we count the checks and then they receive their reward in proportion to their checks...it's usually computer time on the weekend: one minute for each check mark.
Some of my chores for them include cleaning the bathroom 1 day per week, gathering the bathroom trash on trash days, practicing the piano, scripture memorization....
Good luck. If you want further info on what I do, leave a comment on my blog.
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